I Know We Needed to Break Up. But Still Hate the Feeling.

I am 100% sure that it was best for my ex and I to go separate ways. We needed to break up. But just because it was best doesn’t mean it feels good. I loved her & she loved me, both deeply. The whole range of intimacy was the focal point of our lives for several strong years. When we split up, that ever-present intimacy, connection and purpose just evaporated, leaving me in a depressed place like I’ve never imagined.

I felt like she passed away. She became so distant & uncommunicative & even though I knew we could not have sustained a day-to-day relationship forever, I was lost. I miss the connection, that grounding emotional intimacy, sense of purpose and companionship. I know– we needed to break up no matter how much i miss it.

Like many drugs, abrupt discontinuation may lead to withdrawal. That withdrawal will eventually subside unless there is another exposure to the drug – in which case – it all crashes back. I finally – after the better part of a year – stopped all contact. Best decision ever. Now I’m trying to navigate that space between being sad/lonely and appreciating the helpful benefits of being alone. Any of this resonate with you?

Even soulmates are often not meant to be together. Romantic love can be very powerful and emotional. But it’s not certain to translate into a life together. There are so many factors that go into relationships and partnerships. It is not uncommon for two people, who are deeply in love, to marry and later suffer a messy divorce. And there are also couples who may not have the same passion they each felt in previous relationships, yet nevertheless create an unshakeable lifelong bond. Here’s to keeping an open mind about the possibility that other options may exist to help overcome this withdrawal.



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