Some of the blessings-in-disguise I see in my former relationships, as hard as they are to get over, make so much sense as time goes by. I realize that things would have gone astray sooner or later, whether I wanted them to or not. So I think about some of the lessons learned that still haunt me, even in my present relationship(s), like:
1 – I learned that I attributed my happiness too much to the other person, and I have to learn how to be happy on my own. Another person is meant to ‘top’ me off, but not be the center of my happiness. This is something I am still working on.
2 – In the case of the more abusive relationship, I remembered the beginning phases of the relationship. He was possessive, and I was isolated from many friends in my life – especially guy friends. His being out of my life freed me from this.
Fast forward to my current relationship, which is on the outs. He’s a very different person than when the relationship began. Turns out he has lots of baggage. He doesn’t have the perseverance to work on himself while being in a relationship with me. If we keep going, I’ll be far more miserable than without him. I fear future relationships becoming like this one. I felt he was perfect until the truth set in. I can’t let him define my happiness. And I can’t stay caged in this unhealthy situation. I need to be happy and free without him. I’m applying my lessons learned.