Day Counter 1 Says: I managed 35 days and then reached out with a ‘hi – hope all is well’ message. The response was less of a deal (just the usual half hearted keep you hanging message and emoji) What was worse was the deep dive into searching social media pages all over again. I know THIS is the part that I have to stop – it really is like engaging in secret drinking, it only makes you feel diminished and strung out. I have to move on to something that brings me peace I hope the same for all.
EXAHOLICS SAYS: Dear Day Counter, day one does NOT mean square one. Counting is counting. Whether day 1 or 100 any day counted is a success, in and of itself. And not every day 1 is the same. The second time around a day one counter has the benefit of some experience. It carries more weight than the first day one. The third time around, the experience grows even more, and so forth. Eventually the day count sticks for longer and longer until it sticks for a stretch so long that the pain has subsided. Its a process. We are all works in progress. May the Counts Continue!
DAY COUNTER 2 SAYS: After a promising 4 days I got excited about some changes in my life and stupidly sent a message after seeing his son. Will I ever learn? Most I’ve managed is 30 days in 18months. I need to do this for both our sakes.
EXAHOLICS SAYS: As stated above, day 1 doesn’t mean square 1. We are learning from experience. And not all day 1’s are the same. As for “both our sakes,” our collective wisdom from experience suggests taking responsibility for others’ emotional well being does little for our own recovery. In fact it can stand in the way of recovery. The exception is narrowed to children. If you have children, that’s a responsibility to keep fulfilling, and thankfully it is not in conflict with recovery. This is a good time to be selfish as far as an EX goes. Selfish in recovery, that is. The more we selfishly focus on the tools of recovery, the more open we are to recovery and the more resilient we are against threats to our recovery.
***Thank you Counters 1 & 2. Reminder, this is not therapy, treatment, or professional advice. The information posted here consists of life coaching insights which you are welcome to read and decide the merits for yourself.