I was struggling with an emotional attachment to a woman who had come into my life like a breath of fresh air, then discarded me, literally overnight, without a word of explanation. I won’t rehash the story because that’s not the point of this post (and there are dozens of posts here that tell that sorry tale). All you need to know is that I felt badly used, deeply hurt and alone.
A funny thing happened two weeks ago. I was away on vacation, posting about my trip on Instagram every day. One Sunday morning I posted a picture of my morning coffee, with a gorgeous mountain view in the background. (Now, coffee catch-ups were something she and I bonded over and we both loved the mountains)
Guess who “liked” the post?!
It was the first time she’d liked a post of mine in nearly 8 years (and she’s an Instagram junky). During my years of pain, this would have raised my hopes only to have then dashed, or sent me spiraling in that all-too-familiar sense of loss.
But I was not even slightly triggered.
In fact, I smiled, and thought quietly to myself, “I hope you’re doing well where-ever you, old friend.” I felt forgiveness for the way she discarded me, and acknowledged I had let myself get into the relationship when I knew better. I can even look at a picture of her without feeling loss or regret. And best of all, I warmly remember the good things about the relationship without pain: when we were together, she made me laugh and she distracted me from my misery.
Have faith, friends. Right now, you might feel like there is no end to the pain. You might scream out to a God/the Universe/empty space, “Have mercy on me and make this pain stop.” But then you feel the pain is still there in the morning. It hurts so much and gets in the way of everything you do. But healing is waiting for you too.